I remember being a kid and racing through any museum my parents had the temerity to drag me to, mindless of whatever exhibit they thought would enrich my apparently blighted youth. What was I looking for?
Why, the gift shop, of course! What else could possibly have been the point of bringing such a distracted and recalcitrant child to The Most Boring Place on Earth? Imagine my complete jaw-dropping shock when I was informed, yet again, that no, the museum store was not my personal playspace and no, I was not getting anything. I’d collect myself (and my jaw), and commence the next stage of youthful swag-acquisition. Those of you who have kids, or remember your youth with unfortunate clarity, will recall that each stage grows progressively louder, sometimes escalating to the tossing of the head and the stomping of the feet. This process was repeated so often in my childhood that it’s surprising my parents ever took me anywhere, frankly.
They must have occasionally caved and bought me whatever doodad I saw as just reward for having suffered through my parents’ attempts to give me culture and class, or I’d have realized the temper tantrums were futile. Research by psychologists has proven that unpredictable, sporadic rewards have a stronger reinforcement for behavior than do no rewards, or predictably timed ones. I think of this fact often when gearing up my kids for their own life-enrichment-through-museum-exposure. What I have done from the get-go is try to stick to our “every 5 times” rule: Every five visits to a museum, aquarium or zoo gets each child one visit to the gift shop. No temper tantrums so far, and because they can predict when they are allowed and not allowed to get a treat at the end of a family outing, the pressure is off and they enjoy all the museums, zoos and aquariums that much more. Score one for the behavioral psychologists!
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Brilliant rule!
That is a great idea! A+
What a fantastic idea. I can’t stand the whole “I want something from the gift shop or I will die” routine that my kids try to pull.
We cheat…. I scour thrift shops and dollar stores for related “souvenirs” for any upcoming trips. We avoid the store completely, and the kids each get a special new book or toy that relates to the experience — generally for the grand total of $1/per kid.
Kelly
Another alternative is to encourage kids to spend their own money–which requires some advance planning. Let them know the museum trip is coming up in X weeks, and that they can spend their own money, if they’d like. (They can even try to earn some $ in advance). Beware, though, you have to be willing to put up with yet another rubber snake, kite, model, pen, doodad or whatever else they choose. The choices are usually much more carefully considered if it’s not your money at stake
Those dollar stores and “use your own money” suggestions are really great – thanks! I’ve got to say, our local 99 cent store has saved my rear many times, regarding birthday party doodads.
I agree with Momofgrownupkids’s comment. If they’re old enough, give them a budget for the entire vacation. Make it a learning experience.
I hear you, Dr. Mike, believe me. I’m always surprised by the sense of entitlement I see in kids (and adults) these days. That being said, my kids don’t have any money; they are broke! It’s an age appropriate issue, I suppose.
I always thought my parents were so mean for not letting me visit the museum shops. My dad had no patience for shopping at all.
When I had a kid, we made a point to visit the shop, and I guess I got lucky- he is not a collector so he didn’t beg for every little thing. Maybe he takes after Grandpa!
I wonder what he’ll do with his kid one day.
It is good information!
It is good information!